a slow leak to forgiveness....
Free writing like some sort of prophet
hunched over a hand bound book, inked fingers, scratching code by candle light
so as not to expose yourself a heretic.
Wheels keep turning...in the sky
on my road
in her arms
a heavy load.
What has this "pandemic" done for you?
This is how we find grace in the worst of situations!
Although in this "situation" we Americans find ourselves in
really isn't so bad....right now. Especially, if you're of the left side of a blue team; you tend to be completely fine with your mask, mail in votes, closed playgrounds and vilified preachers.
I've searched my entire life for truth, peace and father. My need for peace and solace was birthed from never having a father. Fatherless homes are not homes. being fatherless has always been the deepest wound, never healed. The heart has been broken forever. A piece of a child's life never happens without father. Endless searching. It's exhausting. Some manage this emptiness better than I.
So I searched and searched.
I searched everywhere but within my own heart.
Seeking family, father, tradition and peace
a belonging to something.
yet given lies
denied why's
their hatred demonic.
Chapters in a book of torn pages. Truth edited with madness.
Re written or burned
my books added chapters.
I won't taint those pages for my child.
On her own path, she found the Lord and brought him to me.
2019 ended as I was opening to the fellowship of Christ. Many of you who have known me over the years might find this really weird. Yes, I've packed my Tarot away and begun reading scripture. I've been searching for something my entire life, for as long as I can remember. Why I've never dug deep into the Bible, I don't know but now is the time.
My daughter and I had just gotten comfortable in a church, close to home. We attended more and more regularly as the year ended and a new one began. Then came the shut down. This church shut it's doors a the first order of the state. No questions asked. I watched online and in the news for weeks as every church shuttered it's doors. Weeks went by. Months. Streaming fellowship isn't cutting it. And where are these leaders of faith with their grace of God standing for what they believe in? How many disciples in human history have stood and gathered in the face of persecution only to suffer in agony, dying for their faith? I can think of at least one.
Church Home
West Virginia Cousins.
Like Grace just burst from my heart.
Everywhere I turn I get to choose;
to find my faith in Christ
or to hold my sin like hot coals. My hands are burning. I can't let go. the regret has pounded me
unrelenting...
I can see the sin everywhere.
It's on my skin; how I hated myself...
didn't care about my health, my skin, my future.
I see it in my dreams, the children aborted
the souls I sorted
in attempt to please anyone but me.
The lies I told in my heart and mind
excuses bundled in stacks upon stacks and stacks of blame.
On top of more excuses are fueled by fear and brainwashing.
I knew no other way.
When I finally woke up to what I've done, the denial fogs the truth.
you're in denial because the truth is too permanent and painful
to face
you have double the job to break.
Can't do it alone...